You Can Never Go Home, But Can Home Go... You?
...i heard that saying once, and at first i didn't think much of it. after pondering on it a while, i realized the horrific truth of it all: you really can't do it. yeah. that was around two years ago, i'm sure. moving right along. i've been find with not having "home" as i've made home more of a feeling that's inside of me and the people and things that i love. the fluid aspect of home has kept me sane many a time as those people have come through and always shown me what home and love are. God blessed me with this intricate web of people that i love to catch me when the little world in my head comes crashing down whenever it may choose to do that. to you folks who've been there, you may or may not know who you are, thank you and i love you, you are home.
...but another thing that's always haunted my mind is that there is always going to be a physical place that you'll want to call home. i have this place located at 1960 eastpark drive in richardson, texas. or do i? it seems that this year's a lot about that place becoming much less my home, which was something that i thought i already had hammered down. my family moved from garland to richardson about a month after i moved out. so eastpark was never meant to be my "home" but it definitely became that... my family is there for one thing, and having ibu down the street made it a rather enticing home as well. eventually, my dear friends dusek, caroline, and travis also made this place my home, by being near and visiting. i was unknowingly recreating a physical safe haven for myself. a sure setup for disaster.
my sister is engaged to be married. this is great news but it means she's not here much longer. what's home without a sister? my cousin brent has moved into my room. i love brent and don't mind that it's him in my room, it's just.......... what's home without a room? and on saturday, our fluffy white delinquent shelby left us to live with an elderly lady. what's home without your dog? so, in hindsight, i let "home" become a physical place again, and it's being deconstructed. this may spark a "going home" pilgrimage for me, i know i want it to. i don't ever have the means, but i always want to travel out to visit you. and also to visit you. and definitely you two. and you, and you, and you. and you, but come on, that's a hella long ways off, let's be real for now. ha, let's get back to what i ways saying.
or maybe not. i think i'm done. i'm just saying, God always has a ton to teach us even if it's in a field where we think we have things covered. also, if yoou ask Him to change things, get ready for it child... He'll probably do it and we're rarely ready for those things. God is great, i am weak but i'm working on it, and He's working on me, and these the changing of times are times to be treasured. i love you. and You.
...but another thing that's always haunted my mind is that there is always going to be a physical place that you'll want to call home. i have this place located at 1960 eastpark drive in richardson, texas. or do i? it seems that this year's a lot about that place becoming much less my home, which was something that i thought i already had hammered down. my family moved from garland to richardson about a month after i moved out. so eastpark was never meant to be my "home" but it definitely became that... my family is there for one thing, and having ibu down the street made it a rather enticing home as well. eventually, my dear friends dusek, caroline, and travis also made this place my home, by being near and visiting. i was unknowingly recreating a physical safe haven for myself. a sure setup for disaster.
my sister is engaged to be married. this is great news but it means she's not here much longer. what's home without a sister? my cousin brent has moved into my room. i love brent and don't mind that it's him in my room, it's just.......... what's home without a room? and on saturday, our fluffy white delinquent shelby left us to live with an elderly lady. what's home without your dog? so, in hindsight, i let "home" become a physical place again, and it's being deconstructed. this may spark a "going home" pilgrimage for me, i know i want it to. i don't ever have the means, but i always want to travel out to visit you. and also to visit you. and definitely you two. and you, and you, and you. and you, but come on, that's a hella long ways off, let's be real for now. ha, let's get back to what i ways saying.
or maybe not. i think i'm done. i'm just saying, God always has a ton to teach us even if it's in a field where we think we have things covered. also, if yoou ask Him to change things, get ready for it child... He'll probably do it and we're rarely ready for those things. God is great, i am weak but i'm working on it, and He's working on me, and these the changing of times are times to be treasured. i love you. and You.
posted by Dirge Albatross at
9:47 PM
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