Big Apple, 3 A.M. (On Being 22)

22 isn't the most pivotal age in the life of an average american person... same story here. ;)

as i'm now a year older, it's weird but oddly familiar not to celebrate it with the folks i've known for a long time. past birthdays... last birthday i spent in bushnell, illinois with my buddy booster, at the cornerstone festival. that was totally amazing. the two birthdays before that (20 and 19) were celebrated as a counselor and basic slave at camp buckner; some of my best and fondest memories dwell there. the two birthdays before even those were celebrated abroad: turned 18 in gateshead, england, and i turned 17 in the sky, on my way to england. i turned 15 on a mission trip in houston... pretty sure it was my first mission experience. i skipped 16, the summer i spent at home. i remember it the more i think about it: summer school (which was hell in high-school), hanging out with friends endlessly, church camp in florida, and a sweet birthday party at the pool by my house (which was in Spring Park, at the time)...

...i am blessed with great family, friends, and memories! i thank God for having such a full and vibrant life after only twenty-two years. i hope there's lots more ahead, and i'm pretty sure there will be, so i smile toward the west, knowing His work isn't done.

new york is good; it's a peculiar place that's always moving and it can get to you if you let it. i really am enjoying it, but every passing week or so lets me know that going home is going to be great. i don't think i'm quite ready to be gone for years at a time. it's good to know that. i'm not homesick or 'i wanna get out of here' or anything, just noting where i stand. everything's incredibly expensive and i'm not using my money in the wisest ways possible, but i feel like i am learning some form of financial responsibility... that will be a good nugget to carry around in my pocket into the future... seeing as how money looks like it's gonna be rare for me in my future :)

if you'd like to see my pictures of nyc life you should mosey on over to facebook and check the photo album of mine called "start spreadin' the news" it has some fun shots in it... i must confess my nyc picture-taking doesn't happen a lot. lo siento!

i finally caught a break in the area of buying music this week: virgin megastore's cds are always 15-17 bucks which is hard on a music enthusiast. however, found the new the devil wears prada cd (which i reviewed earlier on in this here blog) for only ten dolla! holla, baller! still not big on the name but that cd, plagues, is great. upcoming releases from norma jean, living sacrifice, and i think a few others have me pretty excited. woo music!

have a great day and weekend. i'm gonna go to the yankees/mets game and see what happens. i'll likely lug the camera with me, for the thousand screaming fans back home. hahaha <3

~the albatross wishes walking burnt more fat than it does...

I Smell of Bum Funk

it's been good since we last left off... there's been stress and uncertainty and all sorts of junk, but i'm doing well! it's officially past the one-month mark and i haven't gone insane or anything (well, hopefully not). all the roommates are finally moved in and there's been plenty of fun there.

tonight i had to help control a situation at church. a very drunk homeless man was in the building and we didn't want him accosting anyone, so i sat by where he was to make sure he didn't get out of hand. he wound up sitting down by me and talking for a good, long time. i felt sorry for the guy, but he was being ridiculous (as belligerent as being homeless and drunk will allow without actually assaulting anyone) and was removed by the police. but not before asking for a handshake.

it's fine, i mean it, but i kinda have a smell issue. i still think the very distinct homeless person smell has in some small way soaked into me. i'm preparing to take as many showers as i need to to put this to rest. in other news, i'm not afraid of/ nervous around homeless people anymore. fair trade? ...maybe. :)

~the albatross thinks august 13th sounds nice.

Do Not Be Deceived! This Will Fade Away!!

...those Life In Your Way lyrics (from the song "Beneath It All") have had to do some rattling around in my head and some soothing for my heart lately. the enemy's been attacking on more levels than usual, but more than that i think God's opening the doors i need to finally grow up and be the man i need to be. i've always thought myself to be mature, but there's little proof to the maturity. might be time to prove it now and over the next several months.

so i might not be coming back to DBU in the fall. and no, it won't be to stay here in New York City, though that would be tres lovely. my lack of motivation has landed me some crappy grades, and it's quite my fault, and let's just leave it at that and say there's a decent chance i won't be able to come back to my school. i don't like the thought of that, but if that's the way it goes, i know it's God working in some way.

i was talking to my dear friend/former roommate while i was walking around Central Park, and we compared how God works continually in our lives like a well-made and exciting movie, where everything (including the little, seemingly insignificant details) is necessary and builds up, making it to where what happens at a certain later point, or the climax or whatever, couldn't have gone the way it should have without all the pieces falling into place. know what i mean? i know the seasons in my life all have some purpose, even if they're hard and painful and not what i want to do/think i should be doing. that's what life's about, and people who can't accept that usually wind up as failed dreamers or bums... no offense to either, of course.

basically, i've felt down because i miss home, and the work i'm doing, while great, is hard. i feel like it's too big for me or that i'm not the guy for the job; i'm not able to complete the task. it's hard to realize that's the enemy's lies sometimes. all that coupled with the new sneak-attack of dbu trouble and all the fallout that will probably come from that, it is really easy to get discouraged.

but i'm loved. by God. by my family and friends who i miss. probably even by you, since you're likely one of the friends or family gang. i know i'll get through it and He'll be there with me all the time, but i still find some ridiculous way to be discouraged. if you were to list what was for me and what was against me, you'd think i'd be doomed since there's a bunch against me. but God is all i need for me. the rest is a fantastic blessing. i just need to remember all that more, and to lean into Him.

i've been listening to The Almost a bunch lately. it's gorgeous rock-music. they have sort of take on "Amazing Grace" called "Amazing Because It Is" that is downright goosebump-inspiring. go for it and give it a listen if such is your thing. i am blessed and thankful to be loved by such great people... and that they're fighting for me even when i couldn't care less. but i think i do care now, that i have to and that's who i have to be.

so i guess i'm wishing myself good luck. or i'm giving myself a head's-up. it'll likely be a wild ride. it's been almost 22 years of wild in some form, so what else is new? hopefully some stuff. some things need to change for things to get better. some things, however, never change, and i couldn't be more thankful for that.

~drew/the albatross might be going 'round his neck...