The Fear Is What Keeps Us Here

i am ready to be done with school. i need to learn something that will stick to help. am i sad? i have no idea. am i thankful? oh yes!!! thanksgiving was wonderful! i love new york city. it was nice to go beyond just manhattan and to see the bronx and brooklyn. mm mm coney island. joyous. overall it was a tremendously fun break from schoollife. i'm back to school-life. and it's like that scene in armageddon. like staring down the end of the world. it's coming soon, but it's horribly brutal and we'll likely not see anything past it. i want school to be done. if this is too much, i'm going to be destroyed by an actual load. something has to happen. i'm trying, and it's hard, and i'm getting it done... but it's so hard to try, and so hard to care and to keep caring and trying.... blast you, school!!! anybody got any suggestions? other than leaving the country for a while?? apparently not the best idea for yours truly at this time. but hey, fingers crossed.

in conclusion, it's not bad, it's just hard. and i'm growing my winter wings. excited about that.