Painful Loss

i don't know what to do. i've suffered a most heinous loss in my life. nothing seems right anymore. i don't know how i can go on... why did i make that choice? what compelled me to push away what i care about?? how could i have...

...SHAVED OFF MY MUSTACHE AND BEARD???

i feel like a criminal. a smooth-faced criminal...

~the albatross wants school gone, and his mustache back.

Waking Giants

prepare yourself for a generally positive and angst-free post. woot!

first off, music's been great this year. from the new haste the day and maylene & the sons of disaster, highly anticipated good cds, to the very unexpected treats in the forms of the chariot's "the fiancee" and life in your way, with their cd "waking giants". hot stuff, hot stuff. there's been tons more great music and there's tons more to come, but yeah.

next, there's only three weeks of school left. this is positive and negative, but right now, i am only focusing on the positive. mt leb for work this summer, and oh yes, cornerstone in late june and nyc in late july. thank you God for giving me so many great opportunities to pack my blessed life with fun and wonder. may i do all these things to the fullest. school, too.

might take a trek to arkansas this weekend. that is what i want to do. y'dig? twould be pretty grand to eat up some of the road of the world on my own again. have to get some logistics and whatnot figured out, but if it's meant to happen it'll happen.

money's been nice. i forget that i get money from mt. leb, and hey! sometimes your grandparent might send you some love money. i'll be thanking you deeply come cornerstone time... speaking of cornerstone, my dear dear friends in Project 86 announced today that they will be there, playing june 25. close enough to my birthday for me to be completely freaking excited, i do think. maylene will definitely be there, as the chariot, showbread, switchfoot, norma jean, handshake murders, starflyer 59, skillet, and some others. joy joy joy.

may 16. the return of the dusek. my brother will be back and living with me and my family this summer. this is most excellent news. if he goes back to nz, that's good and i'll be excited for him. but oh, we'll have some sick adventures this summer.

...dang. i live a blessed life. thank You.

~the albatross is feeling very melodic, thank you.

Even At Death's Door, I'm Your Hero

I The Albatross: i spit up huge balls of snot. it's like a superpower. except it hurts.

CLAIREBEARQT820: hahaha, quick. a story about how your snot saved someone!

I The Albatross: well, you see, i was lying in bed when i heard a loud noise coming from outside. my sleep was already terrible, so i fell out of the window to see what was happening outside. a girl was being chased and attacked by a giant dog, and i knew i had to stop it. my strength was pretty low since i'm sick and everything, so i knew it had to be mucus-powers time! i gargled to get some ammo to take down the brute, but it was too far back in my throat, so i barfed up some fruit snacks i'd eaten before my nap.

CLAIREBEARQT820: GROOOOSSS

I The Albatross: a random passerby brought me a cup of water to get things moving again, and soon i hocked up a monstrous beast of a loogie. the dog noticed that i was approaching it, so he abandoned his previous target and charged at me. i then painfully spit the loogie, sending it straight through his brain via his giant, canine eyes. it dropped dead in front of me. then i started whining since it was bright outside and people were being too loud. so i scroogily crept back into the recesses of my dorm. all in a day's work, i say.

CLAIREBEARQT820: you're my hero

It's Getting OK Now

...light's breaking, it's nice. i think mt. lebanon will agree to my terms, of which i am very thankful and gracious. ol' bucky buck came through to give me a bit of hope to lighten the dark path, and i'm also quite grateful to them, even though i don't think i'll be able to take them up on their kind offer. still not sure, so nothin's said yet.

in music news, the new The Chariot album is simply amazing. i've never been huge on these cats but this is definitely one of my top 5 of recent memory so far. haste the day, benea reach, and maylene have also put out some sweet new stuff lately. also, becoming the archetype has put up a new song on their myspace. DROOL DROOL LOVEYLOVE. and. the new project 86 is called "rival factions" and it drops june 19. shelbo's b-day.

love and peace. yes.~albatross

Schism

hooo boy, here we go...

...so there's this giant fork in the road coming up. well maybe. sort of. it's like a gigantic intersection of several interstate highways. it's all there, in front of me, but i have no f***ing idea what to do.

some clarity. i'm probably going to be working at mount lebanon (a retreat center near dallas) this summer, sorry all you dear dear buckner folks, and there's a couple things i need need to take time off for, but that's a lot of time to ask off and i don't think both will work out. and this is stressful.

one thing is cornerstone. i've wanted to go for years. i already told a friend we're going together. i probably won't have another chance to go.

another is new york. i know i'm called there. i know i'm going to do missions. and i'd be in charge of a team there... this has to happen

so as you can see. i would appreciate your prayers. my head is ripping at the damn seams and it would be just lovely to know better what to do. i'm going to fight for all three, but if things start becoming very apparent, i'll accept what i must and also sacrifice what i must. i'm pretty sure that this is one of the

hardest

decisions i've ever had to make in my usually pretty easygoing life. adieu.
~albatross, ran through and over